The Mommy Wars

I'm so happy that the post I wrote on banishing working mom guilt was so well received!

Several months ago, Momversation.com ran a video called The Mommy Wars, which discussed whether or not these wars are real, and thoughts about them. Mommy Wars are really just the ways in which we judge each other as parents.

Why do we do this? I ask that out of exasperation, but I think the answer is that we all love our children so much that to think that there are other ways of parenting means that we're not doing something right. This was a hard lesson for me, because I felt so strongly about so many things when I was pregnant, and when my daughter was born, I was surprised how different I did things and how there was no "by the book" (my mantra became "close the book and read the baby" after so many parenting books failed me).

Breastfeed or formula feed (or both)? Doesn't matter, as long as you're feeding your child. (I am an advocate for breastfeeding though we tried it didn't work out for us.) Co-sleep or crib sleep? As long as you're getting some sleep! (we did both). Work or stay home? As long as everyone's happy and your family's needs are met (obviously, I work). Pacifier or thumb? Whatever keeps the kid happy (we tried the paci but she only took the thumb).

I say we cut out the judgment. As long as our children are all fed, clothed, happy, and not being abused, and we're not breaking any laws, I think we should be free to parent without judgment.