31w - 9w to go!

Still no ultrasound pictures to update, but I have good reason. I can't walk the distance I need to in order to get to the scanner.

(Apologies in advance if this comes across as a really ranty post, but I am officially having my first "I want this baby out of me!" moment.)

The past week or so has necessitated a lot of walking, either via baby shopping or work events. This, combined with the fact that the baby is now head down and apparently resting just about as low as she can go, has started to cause me what is probably some of the worst pain I have ever felt.

Since about 12 weeks, I've had occasional pain in the region near what my nurse practitioner so cleverly refers to as the "baby chute". (I figure I can use that term if she can use it, right?) I find it gets worse if I've done a lot of walking, and ever since the baby has turned head-down, the pain has been worse than ever.

Well, this evening it turned into a "I can't walk" kind of pain. As in, I can stand up, but transferring weight from one leg to another pretty much brings me to tears. And it's not constant - it comes and goes (probably when the baby moves and takes pressure off of certain areas). But when it hurts, it is unbearable.

In fact, last night I was trying to go to sleep, and I sleep with a pillow between my knees to take the pressure off that area...but last night, I couldn't even lift my leg the inch and a half I needed to in order to move the pillow in there because every time I did, I literally felt like I was going to split in half. (And yes, by literally, I mean, literally...I felt like I was being ripped apart.)

Oh, and forget rolling over at night. Just forget it. I would rather lay there and be a little uncomfortable than move my legs in the way I need to in order to roll over.

So, tonight I did a little research via the Google School of Medical Science (haha) and determined that it must be: symphysis pubis dysfunction. The symptoms describe exactly what I'm feeling, perfectly.

Given that it's been so much worse the past few days, I'll be calling the doctor in the morning to find out if there's anything I can DO for it. I have an appointment on Monday, but I need to do something - anything. This is seriously impacting my exercise routine, which I need to keep my blood pressure down (especially given all the other stressors in my life right now, which are making my blood pressure go back up again).

In addition to that, I am now gaining weight at a rapid pace, despite the fact that I can't hardly eat a whole meal anymore, so I'm sure I'm going to get another weight-related lecture at the doctor's office. If I eat as much as I normally would (and sometimes even when I don't), I get the worst heartburn I've ever had. If I don't eat enough, I'm STARVING within an hour. I should buy stock in Tums at this point. If I don't get heartburn, I get nausea. But yeah, eating in and of itself is a chore these days.

Oh, and the baby has this lovely new habit of kicking me in the kidney, and I cannot express how painful that is. Every time it feels like I'm getting a kidney stone all over again, but the pain only lasts a minute and then goes away once she moves.

Annnnnndddd I am now reaching a point where none of my MATERNITY clothes fit. I went shopping with Stefanie last weekend and picked up a few shirts/tank tops, but even they're a little snug. And my maternity pants, which were once baggy on me, are now getting snug.

Actually, I think wearing my normal clothes may be one of the biggest things I'm looking forward to doing post-pregnancy.

Speaking of things that don't fit, I haven't been able to wear my engagement/wedding rings since Christmas because my hands are too puffy. And I miss them terribly.

To make matters worse, I am so tired all the time, but I can't sleep worth a damn anymore. I'm either uncomfortable, in pain, or have to pee...constantly. At least once the baby is here, I'll be able to squeeze in a couple hours of quality sleep between feedings. I'm not even getting QUALITY sleep at this point. I'm pretty much just dozing in and out of sleep. I must have seen every hour on the clock last night. I've tried going to sleep earlier. I've pretty much cut out all caffeine at this point (aside from the rare treat of coffee or soda, maybe once a week). At this point, I give up. I'm staying up until I can't stand it anymore and then maybe I'll REALLY sleep. (This is also making getting up in the morning a royal pain in the whatever, because between the lack of sleep and the fact that getting out of bed is painful, all I want to do is just lay there.)

Let me just say that with all of this going on, these next 8-9 weeks cannot move fast enough. It will be WEIRD to not feel her moving around in there anymore, but I will take it over all of this pain and discomfort and sleeplessness.

//end rant

I guess I'll end things on a positive note. I was laying on the sofa the other night, reading a magazine, and the baby started moving around. She's facing my left side, so I put my hand just below my ribcage, and I totally felt her little foot move across it. It was the first time I felt her move and was actually able to determine which body part I was feeling and it was so cool. I started giggling and couldn't stop, and she kept doing it for like 10 minutes.

I also felt part of my tummy get harder last night, like she was moving around and pressed up against it and poked it and felt what had to be the outline of a leg or foot...or maybe a spine? It was long and bony. And she did NOT like me poking at it because she quickly squirmed out of the way.

We also had a big meeting at work, with some music and people talking into microphones, and she definitely reacted to the sound, which was really cool. I know she's in there and can HEAR things now.

So, you take the bad with the good. But all these things really made me want her out so I can interact with her face to face! (But please, little one, stay in there until you're good and healthy and ready to come out!)