Top 10 Reasons Why Real Life Deliveries Are Nothing Like A Baby Story

From my own personal experience - yours may be different, comment and share yours!

1. Your whole pregnancy, labor, delivery and hospital discharge are not condensed into one neatly edited hour.


2. Despite your best efforts, your labor and delivery will not go exactly like you planned and described in your birth plan.


3. Makeup and jewelry? Who wears makeup and jewelry when they're in labor?


4. Not all labor and delivery nurses are super nice. Some are actually quite snarky.


5. Your well-intentioned husband/significant other will say/do something boneheaded.


6. Forget modesty. Hospital gowns? No thank you!


7. Doctors/nurses don't always explain what they're doing. Also: if you ask, they will look at you like you're a crazy lady for asking.


8. You don't ask for an epidural and get it immediately. It may only take 20 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive, but it will feel like two hours years.


9. If you have a c-section, your doctor won't be explaining each step of the procedure. (Mine was too busy discussing his seven year old's grades with his assistant.)


10. Last, but certainly not least: After going home, nobody looks that good with a three day/week old baby.

Bonus: Word of caution to the wise, c-section mamas - they do put up that blue screen so you can't see what's going on, but if you don't want to see the gore, be sure the nurse standing next to you doesn't have glasses.

A year ago today...

A year ago today I got some very good news.

At 33 weeks (April 16, 2008) I went to see the MFM doctor for a check-up and ultrasound...I had been seeing him for most of the last half of my pregnancy, since I had been battling blood pressure issues. At that visit, it was determined that Angelica's amniotic fluid was low...very low. He threatened to take me out of work. Ultimately, after discussing the pros and cons of the situation, it was determined that it was okay for me to continue working, as long as I stayed off my feet as much as possible and drank ungodly amounts of water (I was consuming 4 liters of water a day). At home, I was only allowed up to shower and get dressed. A week later, April 23, 2008, was my follow-up to see if the situation had improved. If it hadn't...we would be delivering that day.

Thankfully, it had improved, but was still at the low end of normal. So, I remained on restricted activity for the rest of my pregnancy, and was induced the day before my due date. Angelica was born the next night, on her due date, via c-section after some complications during labor.

When I looked at the calendar today I remembered breathing that sigh of relief one year ago today. As I watched Angelica play, I wondered to myself what it'd be like if her birthday were today. Would she be as healthy as she is? As advanced as she is? (She is known as "superbaby" amongst friends, family, and her daycare teachers because she has always hit her milestones months ahead of the curve...in fact, she already had head/neck control the day she was born. Crazy, right? If I ever have another baby and he or she has a floppy head I won't know what to do!)

I know I've only been committed to this change for a few days, but so far it has gone well. With the exception of some sweets at lunch today (boo to me for that) I have done well. I've eaten healthy, and exercised. Tonight, I did something I never thought I could. I'm starting the Couch to 5k plan on Coolrunning.com, and I actually completed the first day's run. I ran. I have been telling myself for years that I can't run, I'm too big and it will hurt too much. But tonight, I did it.

The pain I feel in my muscles is beyond what words can express...but my pride is swelling.

Our Experience with the First Three Months

I would like to thank Jennifer at momlogic.com for writing The Truth About the First Three Months, a post I can totally get behind.

As a mom-to be, I expected to have a perfect pregnancy, ending in the med-free labor I had dreamed of. My baby would be happy, calm, sleep through the night at six weeks and never cry unless she needed something.

What I ended up with was: partial bed rest when I was eight months pregnant, induction on my due date, epidural, a c-section, a colicky baby who cried endlessly and didn't sleep through the night until she was seven months old.

Needless to say, I wish I had taken the words of wisdom of so many experienced moms and been open to the idea that things would not necessarily go the way I wanted -- and that's okay. I also know that there is no way, as a first time mom-to-be, that I would have ever understood this, though.

Now that she's coming up on her first birthday, I can look back on those first three months and appreciate my inexperience. Yes, as Jennifer mentioned in her article, there were moments when I wanted to drop my baby off at the local police station and check myself into the nearest hospital's psychiatric ward. Was the insanity worth it? Absolutely. Would I go through it again? Without a doubt. But let's not ignore the fact that the first three months of my daughter's life were the hardest months of my life.

Moms (and Dads!), feel free to comment and share your experience with the first three months!

39w6d - 1d to go! The LAST pre-baby blog post!

We're headed in to be induced tonight! I have high expectations for the process. We had our last NST yesterday and the baby looked good (though we caught her at sleepy time...had to wake her up with a big glass of cold lemonade) and we also discovered that the moderate pain/cramping I had been having was contractions...much bigger contractions than the last time the NST picked up on it. And wow did I feel them!

I also asked Diane to do an internal, which she thought was kind of silly since we're just headed in to be induced today anyway, but I know that if you've made "progress", the induction is less likely to fail and result in c-section, and I needed to know for my own peace of mind. So, she did it and we were both pleasantly surprised...I was a fingertip dilated and 80% effaced. So that means that the contractions were doing their job!

Unfortunately I came home and took a nap and they stopped. Boo for that, I was hoping to wind up in labor!

But, at least I got a good amount of rest last night...slept great between the nap and my regular night's sleep. I feel totally refreshed right now. Scott reassembled the pack n' play and set up the basinette part of it last night, so it's all set for us to bring Angelica home (she's rooming in with us for at least the first few weeks).

Wish us luck! Next time you hear from me, we'll be parents!

39w4d - 3 days to go

In good news, Julianna Nichole Marino has entered the world, to proud parents Michelle and Nick Marino, and proud big sister Adrianna! Congrats to my fellow pregnant friend - I will forgive you for giving birth before me even though you were due after me!

In bad news, I'm still pregnant, with no sign of labor. There's more to this story, but Dr. Wilson bumped up my induction date to May 28th, going in at 7 p.m. to start the induction, so Angelica should be here on her due date. On the one hand, I am so happy because at this point I don't care HOW she comes out, I just care that she comes out and is healthy. On the other hand, I feel that if I make it that far, I'll feel cheated out of the whole element of surprise that I've been so looking forward to.

Either way, she'll be here by May 29th and I can't complain about that. I'm so ready for her.

About two weeks ago, the last of the pregnancy pains kicked in. I now have carpal tunnel syndrome in the same wrist that I had that weird tendinitis back in the 2nd trimester. As I type, my right hand is completely numb, aside from the pins and needles in my fingertips. "They" say it goes away after pregnancy, so here's hoping.

I broke free of the "bed rest" today to go walk around Waterford Lakes and shake a baby loose, but it was all in vain. She's still hanging in there, stong and steadfast. Scott & I at least got a good lunch out of it, and we went to Old Navy and Carter's...exchanged a duplicate thing we got at Carter's and got a couple more adorable outfits for the kiddo, and then got some new outfits for Scott at Old Navy.

Crossing my fingers for a baby in the next few days. I'll be really sad if I go to work on Tuesday instead of going to the hospital to have a baby...I always predicted she'd come over the long Memorial Day weekend.

38w5d - 1w2d to go (12 days to induction) - Part 2

Just got back from the doctor.

Sadly, no news to report. The NST went very well...Angelica cooperated better this time than last time (guess she was sleepier last week). Ultrasound looked GREAT again, in fact, AFI was up to almost 9 (it was still around 6-7 last week).

Dr. Wilson scheduled me for another appointment for next Tuesday...crossing my fingers that we won't make it that far! Also, he's having me call and officially schedule the induction for June 2nd tomorrow. Hopefully that won't be necessary either.

That's really all...I'm gonna go finish up some work now so that I can rest. I've had the worst heartburn today, and I'm getting over (yet another) cold. Boo.

38w5d - 1w2d to go (12 days to induction)

I'm taking my wise mother-in-law's advice, given in the last post, and only counting the days to June 2nd - because otherwise I'll be agonizing over that due date. So, 12 days to go (and you're so right, too - girls have such a mind of their own!!)

I have an appointment at 1:30 today, so I don't have any news just yet. I just wanted to share a sad and touching story coming from the earthquake in China that was posted in one of the pregnancy message boards I go to - I've always heard my whole life about the power of a mother's love, but now that I'm actually a mom (well - almost anyway) I truly understand how something like this could happen.

It was the third day after the quake already.

The rescue workers were still looking for survivors. They knew with each minute passing by, the chance to find someone alive gets slimmer. They were overworked. Since the quake, many of them had been working constantly, without having any good sleep. The roads to these mountainous towns and villages were destroyed by the quake-induced mudslides. They did not have machinery to work with. All they had were shovels and their bare hands.

But they were still looking for survivors.

"Come here, come here! There is a body! " Shouted a rescue worker. His fellow workers rushed to the spot. Under a big chunk of roof was a woman. She was lying with a strange pose - she kneeled on the ground with her upper body stretch forward. Her head was on the ground as well. As if she was praying for her survival.

The nurse in the rescue team struggled to reach her through the debris. It was difficult. There was no space. The woman was not responsive to any call. However, just to make sure, the nurse still tried to test her breath, to see if she was still breathing.

Not really. She was breathless, and her body was cold. She was dead. Praying or not, it did not help. The team moved on. There were other people buried. They could not afford to spend time in retrieving a dead body.

When the team reached the next collapsed building, the captain suddenly ran back to the woman, as if he realized something. When he reached the spot, he lay down, put his head next to the roof, and stretched his arm to touch the space under her abdomen. Once, twice. His forehead was locked, just like he was solving a mystery.

"There is a baby! And he is alive!!!" He cried out to his team members.

It was a newly-born. He was neatly wrapped in a red blanket decorated by yellow flowers. Miraculously, he did not even have a scratch in his body. When he was taken out from the rubble, he was sleeping, peacefully sleeping.

The nurse took the baby from the rescue worker and started doing routine exams. When she unwrapped the blanket, she found a cell phone tucked between the baby and his diaper. It had a text message written on the screen, read

"My dear baby, if you can survive, please remember mom loves you."
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-23029

38w3d - 1w4d to go (10 days to due date, 16 days to induction)

I'm still pregnant.

GET OUT OF ME BABY GIRL!

The contractions I had all last week have died off completely. I'm so disappointed. On Friday, they were so strong I was SURE I'd have a baby by the end of the weekend. Here it is, Monday at 12:02 a.m. and I'm still pregnant, zero contractions, sore, tired, cranky, having heartburn for the 100th day in a row, running the electric bill way up with the air conditioning (because I am ridiculously hot all the time, I miss the freedom to move about as I please, and I REALLY WANT THIS KID OUT OF ME.

I'm also as big as a friggin house. I stepped on the scale - I've gained 50 pounds. I'm eager for the kid to come out so I can start losing weight again. I want my body back, all for myself (except for breastfeeding of course).

Ugh. I'm off to go eat my weight in Tums so that maybe, just maybe I can get through the night without waking up and having my throat be on FIRE.

Here's hoping that THIS week will be the week. I know it will all be over for sure on June 2nd, but I really, really don't know how much more I can take. Here's hoping also that at least this week when I get the fun/uncomfortable/somewhat painful cervical check, I'll have at least made SOME progress so I don't have to be panicking that the induction won't take if we even make it that far.

The worst part of all this is just the constant worry - between my HBP and the amniotic fluid level being low (though low end of normal) I just worry that the more time she spends inside is just one more day that something could go wrong.

Funny how the first part of this pregnancy was so easy.

Goodnight.

37w6d - 2w1d to go!

The NST went fine today. The nurse commented that it picked up a few contractions. YAY. I am still feeling them. In fact, I'm feeling one right now, and I'm starting to feel them in my back as well (could be my uncomfortable chair, could be labor!) so now I at least know I'm NOT imagining these contractions.

The amnio check also went well - I didn't ask numbers, but Dr. Cascio said that it looked better this time than the last time and she could tell I was following orders. Thank goodness for that. She also said that Dr. Fuentes strongly recommended inducing me between 38-39 weeks, but she was still not convinced it was the right thing to do. So we scheduled an induction date - after my due date (June 2nd), with the caveat that if the amniotic fluid levels drop to 5 again, that's the day we'll be inducing. So anyone who prays, pray for the level to stay the same!

She was really happy to hear that I was having contractions, because she knows how badly I want to go into labor on my own, and she wants me to also.

Some notes about the NST. Not really much to worry about. They strap a monitor to you and have you lay there and listen to the baby's heart for 20 minutes. The worst part about it was that they had me lay flat on my back, which is something I haven't done in about 6 months, nor have I had a desire to, because the baby puts too much weight on my back and it hurts. The only other bad thing about it was when a contraction hit and I couldn't move into a comfortable position. Otherwise, it was kind of nice...just laying there, feeling the baby move around, hearing her heartbeat.

Also, this was REALLY cool during the ultrasound...Dr. Cascio homed in on her chest, and you could totally see her chest expanding and contracting. She's practicing breathing!!

Alright, that's enough of an update. Everyone cross your fingers that these contractions turn into something REAL! And soon! If I'm still having these little annoying contractions in three more weeks, I am gonna be one unhappy mama (they're already making me even more cranky than I was before!)

37w5d - 2w2d to go!

Nothing major to report, other than the fact that I have been having annoyingly irregular contractions since this morning. Nothing to call L&D about yet, but they sure are annoying.

Trying not to get my hopes up, but hoping for excitement tomorrow afternoon at the doctor's office.

Man, I need a nap.

37w4d - 2w3d to go! (17 days!)

Mother's Day has come and gone, and I have no baby yet.

I had an appointment with Dr. Cascio today - Angelica is apparently way down now. She did an internal exam (which, by the way, was nowhere NEAR as pleasant as last week's - this one actually HURT) and she could feel the her little head! So no wonder I feel like someone kicked me in the crotch really hard. I feel so bruised! But at least I know that, in spite of the fact that there is no dilation yet (boo) that she is still moving toward the exit.

Dr. Fuentes sent over his evaluation of last week's final growth ultrasound, along with the recommendation to induce labor between 38 and 39 weeks (next week!), but imagine my relief when Dr. Cascio said she wasn't sure if that was the best idea. I told her I agreed with her, and about my desire for a med-free birth, and she said she would prefer if I go naturally as well. She said she wanted to talk things over with Dr. Wilson and see if he thought I should be induced, and they would get in touch with me.

So, I got a call a little bit ago from their receptionist. They want to hold off on the induction, and scheduled me for another ultrasound to check the fluid, and for a non-stress test - both taking place on Wednesday. They also went ahead and scheduled me for a second amnio check and NST for NEXT Tuesday. I was so concerned about these doctors wanting to push me into an induction or c-section after some things they said at my last couple of visits, so I am really relieved that they are taking this course of action. (Of course, if the ultrasound or the NST give poor results, they'll do what's necessary, and I'm completely okay with that - if there is a risk to the baby, I will gladly sacrifice the natural, med-free birth if it means induction or c-section will result in a healthy baby).

I somehow don't forsee making it to next Tuesday's appointment though. If the amount of pressure I've been feeling is any indication of how soon I'll go into labor, it'll be sometime this week. I've been feeling a few times like she is just trying to push her way out now, but can't because everything is still closed up. But we'll see.

Alright, back to work now!

36w6d - 3w1d to go! (22 days!)

The last visit to Dr. Fuentes was this morning.

Overall things went really well. Angelica measured approximately 6.6 pounds, so she's measuring right on target, if not a little bit ahead! She was in a funky position, which made things really difficult on the ultrasound tech, and resulted in a somewhat lower fluid level reading. The doctor was caught up in an emergency, but another tech came in and looked at it, and said that she thought the fluid looked fine, and the reading was probably off due to Angelica being in that funky position. So they sent me on my merry way.

At this point, I'll be glad for her to come at any time!! They talked a little about induction today, between 38-39 weeks, which anyone who knows me knows I'll fight to the ground unless they can give me a really good reason to have one. I want her to come on her own terms, naturally - but, if the alternatives are bad, I'll do whatever is best for her. I just don't want to be induced because someone "feels" that it's the right thing to do. Plus, if they'll let me go to 39 weeks, why NOT 40 weeks? Is 7 days going to make that much of a difference?

The ultrasound picture they gave us today was really good. You could really make out all her little facial features (except part of one of her eyes, because of her weird position there was a shadow over it). If the picture was any indication, she is definitely daddy's little girl.

Speaking of having the baby, we toured the hospital this past Sunday. It was really a lot of fun...I left afterward feeling like - okay, I know where to go now, let's have this baby already!! The set-up is really, really nice though - the labor and delivery rooms are absolutely private, and look like little hotel rooms. They apparently try to never separate mom and baby unless there's an emergency (and this was verified by the fact that they were totally booked in the recovery rooms, but the nursery was totally empty when we walked by!) And the recovery rooms are NICE...there's a pullout bed for Scott to sleep on, and a flat screen TV (like I'll be watching a lot of TV, though?) and a really big bathroom with a full shower in it. It looked like a little mini resort. Oh, and they have a concierge service. Crazy.

Last night, I was sure something was happening, too. I've been feeling rotten and just hoping this baby would come already...and around 9:30, I started having some pretty bad crampyness. So I watched the clock, and they weren't regular or anything, but they still hurt pretty bad. I thought maybe they were Braxton Hicks, so I got up and walked around, changed sides on the couch, did all the things that are "supposed" to make BH contractions go away, and they didn't. So I was getting pretty excited.

By 10:30, they stopped, and I haven't had another one since. Boo.

Anyway, that's all the news for now. I'm still feeling rotten and I want to go home and sleep, but there's work to be done!

36w0d - 4w to go! (27 days!)

Oh my gosh! It's May 1st!

Angelica is due THIS MONTH! WOW!

I can't believe it's here already. It feels like just yesterday that I got my positive pregnancy test and was sitting in our computer room anxiously waiting Scott to get home so I could tell him the good news.

Now, that computer room is a fully stocked nursery (without a changing table, but we're getting there at least) and our baby has grown from poppyseed sized to a full fledged watermelon.

I can't wait to meet her, I'm so excited!

We may still have a bit to wait, though - at my appointment on Tuesday, there was no progress made in terms of dilation. I was kind of sad, but not too much - I want her to come when she's ready, so if she needs more time in the "mommy oven" then she can take it! It'll be good practice for the patience I'll need as a parent.

34w6d - 5w1d to go!

Guess what? I'm still pregnant. YAY!

We had our follow-up with Dr. Fuentes this morning at 8:30. I was nervous and sweating and jittery all morning, wondering if we'd have to have the dreaded c-section this afternoon. I literally felt sick to my stomach.

But, the tech did the ultrasound and her AFI was back up over 8! YAY! So they advised me to keep drinking my water and continue with the resting, and they'd see me in two weeks for the "final" check up. SCARY to hear the word "final" - I can't believe this is almost over! But, believe me, after this week's drama, those labor pains will be the best pain I will ever feel compared to the dread and fear I've had over possibly having a c-section!

Also, in other good news, my blood pressure has been doing SO much better the past two times it's been checked. It was 130/77 yesterday at Dr. Wilson's office, and 140/70 (ish) this morning - probably up a little bit because I was so nervous. I think I can attribute that to something I had thought of before, but hadn't REALLY thought was too bad. Since the baby's fluid was so low, I cut out caffeine entirely (I was a caffeine junkie pre-pregnancy and hadn't really cut it out since then, though I had cut back to one cup a day from my 3-4 cup a day habit). Lo and behold, the blood pressure evened out (at least the bottom number, which they were most concerned about).

So, the moral of the story is that I should keep cutting out the caffeine if I want my blood pressure to be stable. I'll just have to replace my favorite caffeinated drinks with decaf versions.

YAY for today, though! I also did my hospital pre-registration today, and Scott & I are going to meet with the pediatrician this afternoon to get that all squared away.

I've got two more appointments lined up - April 29 with Dr. Wilson, where they get to do the fun GBS test (crossing fingers for negative!) and then May 7 again with Dr. Fuentes. (crossing fingers for high fluid!). I'll be one day shy of 37 weeks by then - FULL TERM! WOW!

As a result of all of this chaos over the past week, we are now ready for Angelica to be born. Her crib is put together, room is cleaned, my hospital bag and Angelica's diaper bag is packed. My co-workers are trained to cover for me for when the baby actually does come. I had to bail on my labor and delivery classes, but I got a DVD to watch, and I also bought a copy of Happiest Baby on the Block, which my sister said she really liked.

Okay, I should get back to work. I'm the happiest woman alive right now!!

33w6d - 6w1d to go (?)

I have tons to update about, but we'll start with this - as you can see in the title, there's a question mark on the number of weeks that I have left.

This morning, I had an appointment with Dr. Fuentes and my AFI was lower than last time - in fact, it was RIGHT on the borderline (5.5, the lowest "normal range" is 5). So, I've now been placed on modified bed-rest. He was debating whether or not to put me on full bed rest, but since I work seated 99% of the time, he cleared me to go to work for at least another week. When I'm at home, though, I'm only allowed to shower and go to the bathroom. Anyone who knows me knows that I think that SUCKS, because it means I have to give up my independence. But, it would suck more if the baby weren't healthy, so I'm happy to do it.

I have a follow up with him next week, on Wednesday morning...if the fluid is any lower...we may be having a baby...NEXT WEEK.

The good news is that Angelica looks perfect. She was over 5 pounds on the ultrasound and was actually measuring slightly ahead, and all her baby parts looked perfect, so if we do have to be induced next week, she'll be fine. She'll be a little early and a little small, but fine nevertheless.

It kind of throws a kink in my natural childbirth plans, because you better believe that if they are going to induce me I'm taking the epidural, that way if it winds up being a c-section, I'll be more prepared. But all the "plans" in the world are nothing compared to having a healthy baby.

I'll update more about the other fun stuff (baby shower and such) later, I'd better get to work prepping for my maternity leave NOW!

32w0d - 8w to go!

It just dawned on me that I am so used to being huge and pregnant that my non-pregnant body will seem very foreign to me - and I'm only about 8 weeks away from giving birth!

How weird will it be to not have her in there kicking and squirming day in and day out? The little taps and flutters I felt at 16 weeks that stood out so much pale in comparison, and now sometimes she's in there kicking away and I don't even think about it or really notice because I'm just so used to it.

I'm just amazed by this...and actually nervous. I feel like things will be very weird once I deliver, kind of like being locked in a very quiet room where the quiet just seems so loud...if that makes sense...

31w6d - 8w1d to go!

I didn't write about my appointment earlier this week, mainly because it was relatively uneventful.

Angelica is measuring right on target - the tape measure test said 32 weeks on Monday, which puts her only a few days ahead (and makes me a happy mommy - I think she'll be early...still rooting for Memorial Day weekend, but it occurred to me last night that she could very easily be a Mother's Day gift, too!)

Her heart rate was perfect...Dr. Cascio said she was being quite active, with a heart rate between 140-150 and it sounded strong. I'm so proud of my little girl!

My blood pressure is back up again, as I suspected - not terribly high (145/83 on Monday) because I haven't really been able to exercise thanks to the pain - which, by the way, she said that pretty much the only thing I could do for it is lay down to take the pressure off...and in the next breath told me I needed more exercise for my blood pressure. Scott tried to explain the logistics of this but it didn't seem to be well received - in all honesty I left my appointment feeling kind of ticked off because of this, and the fact that the whole thing turned into a lecture about my weight...again...

Speaking of that, because of the weight lecture, instead of being happy that the baby is doing well, I kind of left the appointment feeling like I should feel lucky that my "defective" body has created a perfect child, and that I should just expect something to go wrong at any time now (for example, I should just expect that I'll develop pre-eclampsia or need a c-section).

This really ticked me off because I feel like I should be celebrating the fact that I have had a very easy, uncomplicated pregnancy and that the baby is doing so well and is so perfectly developed - and I attribute this to the fact that, since becoming pregnant, I have made lifestyle changes for the better. I'm eating healthier and exercising more than I have in years. But every time I go in to see one of the doctors, they imply that all I do is sit around and eat and don't get enough activity, which isn't true. (This isn't the case with the NP, who has said I should watch my weight but never turns it into a negative lecture.)

Up to this point, I've always said I love my doctors but after this last visit, I've kind of had it. I'm actually considering a switch, but at this late stage in the pregnancy I wonder if it's worth the hassle. After all, once we're in the delivery room, all the doctor really has to do is catch the baby and then I can switch without having to worry about the transfer of medical records and see whoever I want. (If I ever have another baby - which isn't very likely...but IF I ever do, I would pick a different doctor.) I'm working on my birth plan, and even though I know nothing ever goes exactly as planned, I will be outlining in there that before admission of drugs or jumping right into a c-section, they need to consider all other options first. Last thing I need is a knife-happy doc cutting into my uterus just because I'm overweight.

Next time I go in, if they start in on me, I'll just tell them - I'm overweight, NOT defective. I haven't gained that much, and I'll worry about my weight gain after she comes. For now, as long as she's healthy, I'm a happy mom.

That's really it for now. I'm gonna go grab some lunch and plug away at work for awhile longer!

31w1d - 8w6d to go!

Scott shared this (very sad) story with me today, and it somehow resonated with me...perhaps because the way they describe Jami and Joe Kennedy's marriage mirrors ours, or maybe because I know that I can't do any of this pregnancy/childbirth/childraising without Scott's love and support.

Anyway, grab a box of tissues and read: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/print?id=3313165&type=story

(By the way, still haven't called the doctor - their office is closed now, but I have an appointment on Monday anyway.)

31w - 9w to go!

Still no ultrasound pictures to update, but I have good reason. I can't walk the distance I need to in order to get to the scanner.

(Apologies in advance if this comes across as a really ranty post, but I am officially having my first "I want this baby out of me!" moment.)

The past week or so has necessitated a lot of walking, either via baby shopping or work events. This, combined with the fact that the baby is now head down and apparently resting just about as low as she can go, has started to cause me what is probably some of the worst pain I have ever felt.

Since about 12 weeks, I've had occasional pain in the region near what my nurse practitioner so cleverly refers to as the "baby chute". (I figure I can use that term if she can use it, right?) I find it gets worse if I've done a lot of walking, and ever since the baby has turned head-down, the pain has been worse than ever.

Well, this evening it turned into a "I can't walk" kind of pain. As in, I can stand up, but transferring weight from one leg to another pretty much brings me to tears. And it's not constant - it comes and goes (probably when the baby moves and takes pressure off of certain areas). But when it hurts, it is unbearable.

In fact, last night I was trying to go to sleep, and I sleep with a pillow between my knees to take the pressure off that area...but last night, I couldn't even lift my leg the inch and a half I needed to in order to move the pillow in there because every time I did, I literally felt like I was going to split in half. (And yes, by literally, I mean, literally...I felt like I was being ripped apart.)

Oh, and forget rolling over at night. Just forget it. I would rather lay there and be a little uncomfortable than move my legs in the way I need to in order to roll over.

So, tonight I did a little research via the Google School of Medical Science (haha) and determined that it must be: symphysis pubis dysfunction. The symptoms describe exactly what I'm feeling, perfectly.

Given that it's been so much worse the past few days, I'll be calling the doctor in the morning to find out if there's anything I can DO for it. I have an appointment on Monday, but I need to do something - anything. This is seriously impacting my exercise routine, which I need to keep my blood pressure down (especially given all the other stressors in my life right now, which are making my blood pressure go back up again).

In addition to that, I am now gaining weight at a rapid pace, despite the fact that I can't hardly eat a whole meal anymore, so I'm sure I'm going to get another weight-related lecture at the doctor's office. If I eat as much as I normally would (and sometimes even when I don't), I get the worst heartburn I've ever had. If I don't eat enough, I'm STARVING within an hour. I should buy stock in Tums at this point. If I don't get heartburn, I get nausea. But yeah, eating in and of itself is a chore these days.

Oh, and the baby has this lovely new habit of kicking me in the kidney, and I cannot express how painful that is. Every time it feels like I'm getting a kidney stone all over again, but the pain only lasts a minute and then goes away once she moves.

Annnnnndddd I am now reaching a point where none of my MATERNITY clothes fit. I went shopping with Stefanie last weekend and picked up a few shirts/tank tops, but even they're a little snug. And my maternity pants, which were once baggy on me, are now getting snug.

Actually, I think wearing my normal clothes may be one of the biggest things I'm looking forward to doing post-pregnancy.

Speaking of things that don't fit, I haven't been able to wear my engagement/wedding rings since Christmas because my hands are too puffy. And I miss them terribly.

To make matters worse, I am so tired all the time, but I can't sleep worth a damn anymore. I'm either uncomfortable, in pain, or have to pee...constantly. At least once the baby is here, I'll be able to squeeze in a couple hours of quality sleep between feedings. I'm not even getting QUALITY sleep at this point. I'm pretty much just dozing in and out of sleep. I must have seen every hour on the clock last night. I've tried going to sleep earlier. I've pretty much cut out all caffeine at this point (aside from the rare treat of coffee or soda, maybe once a week). At this point, I give up. I'm staying up until I can't stand it anymore and then maybe I'll REALLY sleep. (This is also making getting up in the morning a royal pain in the whatever, because between the lack of sleep and the fact that getting out of bed is painful, all I want to do is just lay there.)

Let me just say that with all of this going on, these next 8-9 weeks cannot move fast enough. It will be WEIRD to not feel her moving around in there anymore, but I will take it over all of this pain and discomfort and sleeplessness.

//end rant

I guess I'll end things on a positive note. I was laying on the sofa the other night, reading a magazine, and the baby started moving around. She's facing my left side, so I put my hand just below my ribcage, and I totally felt her little foot move across it. It was the first time I felt her move and was actually able to determine which body part I was feeling and it was so cool. I started giggling and couldn't stop, and she kept doing it for like 10 minutes.

I also felt part of my tummy get harder last night, like she was moving around and pressed up against it and poked it and felt what had to be the outline of a leg or foot...or maybe a spine? It was long and bony. And she did NOT like me poking at it because she quickly squirmed out of the way.

We also had a big meeting at work, with some music and people talking into microphones, and she definitely reacted to the sound, which was really cool. I know she's in there and can HEAR things now.

So, you take the bad with the good. But all these things really made me want her out so I can interact with her face to face! (But please, little one, stay in there until you're good and healthy and ready to come out!)

30w - 10w to go!

I got a bit of good news the other day that I wanted to share...I had been holding off on sharing this until a final decision was made, and I had notified my boss of my plans...but...

I NOW QUALIFY FOR SHORT TERM DISABILITY!

I had my annual benefits meeting on Monday. I hadn't been signed up for short term disability in the past (Actually, I THOUGHT I had been, but shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I learned that somehow my coverage had been canceled...probably accidentally when I canceled my health insurance when Scott & I got married) and I had been told that, being pregnant, I wouldn't be able to sign up for it and therefore wouldn't get paid for my maternity leave (beyond my vacation pay).

But, since my last qualifying date, the company changed disability insurance carriers, and since I had never had an opportunity to sign up for this particular plan in the past, they let me sign up for it! Which means I'm covered and will earn 60% of my pay during the time I'm out.

So, hurray! Angelica will have mommy and daddy home with her for almost four months, between my leave and Scott's!

I feel for my colleagues who have to cover for me while I'm out, though. I'll have to do my best to get them all adequately trained and then just be available by phone whenever necessary.

In other news, I did a little more research into the low amniotic fluid issue that the doctor mentioned yesterday. I was a little confused about a conversation between him and the nurse...he asked the nurse what the AFI was and she said 8, and he said he wasn't worried but that I should drink more fluids. According to Babycenter.com, AFI = amniotic fluid index, and is measured in centimeters. In the 3rd trimester, normal is between 5 and 25, and mine was only 8, so like I said before - normal, but low end of normal range.

I've been pounding back the water, though, and the baby LOVES that. There have been a couple of kicks today that were unlike anything I experienced. I was reading a magazine on the sofa earlier and the kick knocked the magazine right out of my hands! Crazy for a baby who isn't really that active!

I forgot to mention yesterday, too - her heart was good and strong at 157 beats per minute!

I still need to get those ultrasound photos scanned in. I forgot to bring my flash drive to work, and Scott wanted to take the photos to work tomorrow, so I'll have to take care of doing that later on. I can say, though, that there is one profile shot in the bunch that I am in LOVE with. She is so cute!

That's gonna be it for tonight...I feel another migraine coming on (sigh) so I'm going to go take a warm bath and try to get some rest.