August 17, 2009

The Weight Loss Wagon: I'm Back On It

Warning: Somewhat personal and emotionally-charged post ahead!

A few months ago, I started a weight loss journey, with the best of intentions in mind. So why is it that I'm sitting here, now, having gained back half of the weight that I lost?

I fell off the weight loss wagon. I stopped working out, I stopped being as cautious about what I ate and just got careless. I have nobody to blame but myself.

But all of that is going to change, TODAY. I'm back on the weight loss wagon.

I don't know why, but I feel like this time is different. Each time I've started on the weight loss journey, I've felt a certain way, but this time I really think it's going to happen.

Sometimes, I look at my little girl and I see her running around, playing, full of joy. Sometimes, she comes and grabs my hand and walks me to the front door and says, "more!" (In her vocabulary, "more" is used to mean that she wants something.) So we go outside. But I'm sore, and I'm tired, my body is out of shape and doesn't move very quickly, and she moves so fast now that it's hard to keep up with her.

Setting everything inside aside...all of the times I've had a lack of confidence about whether or not I can lose weight, all of the times I've set out with the best of intentions and failed, all of the times that I just gave up and set it aside...they don't mean anything when I start to look at things from her perspective. She deserves a mom that can keep up with her. She deserves a mom that can take her to the park and throw a ball or chase a frisbee. More than anything else, though, she deserves a mom who will be healthy, and be able to be there for her when she's a teenager, an adult, a mom, a grandma...

So I think that's why it's going to be different this time. I've got the big picture in mind. I don't just have a reason, I have a purpose.

Today commences "Operation Lose the Baby Weight: This Time It's For Real!" See you at the finish line!

No comments: