As a kid, I was unrelentlessly bullied. To say I was unpopular would be an understatement. So maybe that's why my heart is still heavy about this almost eight hours later...
Angelica inherited from me the desire to make people happy and be friendly to everyone. A lot of times, as we leave daycare she will say goodbye to her friends one by one.
Well, tonight she said goodbye to one of the 4 year old boys. He ignored her, so she persisted. Now, this kid is not normally nice to her so I was just waiting for his retort. And when it came, my jaw dropped. He yelled at her, "I don't care, just go away!"
She looked at him. Then looked at me. I said to the little boy, "that wasn't very nice." Just then Angelica's lower lip came out and she just burst into tears. The teacher put him in timeout.
It took what felt like forever for me to calm her down. Her heart was broken. Another boy (one of the schoolagers) came over and patted her back and said, "It's okay Angelica, I care about you!" So I asked his name and after he told me I said, "See, (boy) is your friend! You have lots of friends, and mommy and daddy, who all love you." She eventually started to calm down.
Man, when that kid's mom came to get him, and the teacher told her what her son did, she lit into him! She made him apologize and she apologized to me. She felt awful.
Angelica is obviously way over it now, but I still feel bad that her feelings were hurt. No mom ever wants her child to feel pain, and I guess this is probably just the first in a long line of heartbreaks that I will have to help her navigate.
6 comments:
I totally understand about the bullying. I was bullied off and on until I got into high school. I finally quit taking it. It is heartbreaking to see other kids be mean to your child.
I am a new follower! I love your daughters name! My name is Angelica as well =D
Poor little love! Glad that you were there to set things straight. The sucky part is when we CANT be there to wipe away those tears and make it better!
Awwww. Poor Angelica. :-( That same thing happened to Rylie one time. She was so upset, and I felt so bad for her.
However (and I'm really not trying to stick up for the mean kid), some kids just aren't into receiving affection from others. There have been times when Rylie hasn't been very good at goodbyes. Is she mean about it? Not usually. But still, for whatever reason she just doesn't want to go through the goodbye. So I do feel bad for the kid that his mom lit into him. She should have calmly talked to him about it and asked him why he acted that way. He should have been given the opportunity to express his emotions and have someone listen. If they weren't justified, she could have explained to him that if you treat your friends like that, you won't have any or whatever. Kids should always be allowed to express their emotions...to an extent, of course. Maybe if she is that "mean", that is why he acts that way. :-(
I hope you're having a nice week off. I'm totally jealous! :-P
I agree with LeeAnn that his mom may be the problem there. I would definitely make my kids apologize too but honestly, they should also have a chance to give their side of the story. And I agree that we also need to teach our kids that all kids aren't the same and some are just very shy and to themselves and pestering them like that makes them feel almost attacked so sometimes they will lash out. Maybe he is just a mean kid but sometimes we need to also be mindfull of other people's space and desires. I have taught my kids from very young that not everyone will like them and that's just part of life. If hope this doesn't come off the wrong way at all, but you said you were just waiting for his comeback...maybe in the future you should call her away instead of letting her continue pushing. I think its ok to teach kids that not everyone is their friend and that's ok. That she can say goodbye once to him to keep being nice to him and maybe someday he'll open up. But if he doesn't that's ok too. I don't think anyone EVER deserves to be bullied but SOMEtimes its because they are too trusting or have too big of a need for everyone to like them. Sometimes teaching kids that they don't have to be liked by everyone can be a good lesson. Of course she is still little and I completely understand your heartbreak. Please don't misunderstand to say I don't TOTALLY get how hard it is!! I DO! But sometimes once we are able to get over the hurt, we can see there are lessons there for US and our kids.
Awww -- poor Angelica. :(
I was bullied a lot too :( This story broke my heart. She is blessed to have a mom that is going to hug her and remind her that she is so loved!
Post a Comment