No worse feeling than this.

Last night as I was getting Angelica ready for her shower, she flipped out on me. Since she's three, I'm used to her very, very regular freak-outs but this was something entirely different. The conversation went a little like this.

A - Mommy, I want to sleep in YOUR room.
Me - I know you do, but you need to sleep in your own bed. (She had been in our bed the night before and I got almost no sleep as a result.)
A - But I don't LIKE my room. It's scary!
Me - What' so scary about your room?
A - It just IS! I want to sleep in your bed!
Me - Well, honey, I'll stay with you for awhile.
A - But when you leave I'll be all alone! And I don't like my room! It's scary! I want a DORA room!
(For those not in the know, before we moved, she had a Dora-themed room. It's now Ladybugs, which is what she asked for when we moved.)

After she said that, it hit me all of a sudden what she was really saying. With three year olds, you have to read between the lines sometimes, and this was one of those times.

Me - Honey, do you just miss your old bedroom?
A - Yes! (Starts wailing)
Me - And your old house? And your old friends?
A - Yes! Yes yes yes!
Me - And your old school? And your old church?
A - Yes! (She really lost it at the mention of our old church. She loved it there so much.)

By this point, I'm already sitting with her on the floor, holding her in my lap while she sobs, big fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She buried her face in my shoulder and just wrapped her arms around my neck and cried and cried the saddest sounding cries while I patted her back and tried to soothe her.

I assured her mommy and daddy were there for her. And that we'd visit her friends, and our family back in Florida. And they would come visit us.

It was tough to hear that. In all honesty, while I love it here, I've been having a hard time adjusting to the not knowing anyone and it's been lonely. I also miss my friends, my coworkers, my family, my church...but she seemed so happy. She was always saying she didn't miss her old home or old friends, and she liked her new school (the last of which is probably true). She's been SO giggly and happy. Little did I know she is JUST LIKE ME when it comes to her emotions. She buried her sadness and put on a happy face and just tried to fake it and eventually it became too much for her to bear.

Me - Angelica, sweetie, are you just lonely?
A - (calmer now, but still crying a little) Yes, I'm lonely.

So I told her we'd go out and meet people. And that I would always, always be there for her if she needed to talk. And that I know that sometimes, it's hard to talk about the tough feelings but that I would always be happy to listen.

Later on, after I got her ready for bed:

Me - Do you feel better now that we talked?
A - Yes, I feel much better.
Me - Are you glad you told me how you were feeling?
A - Yes, it made me feel happier.

I'm so happy she felt better at the end of the night. I'm so glad we talked about it too. But there is truly no worse feeling than when your child is hurting and there's nothing you can really do to make it all better.

Good news!

I've been absent from blogging for a bit...a bit more than I'd like. The holidays came and went (and I promise I WILL get pictures posted) but the main reason for my absence has nothing to do with the holiday season.

In early December, we got some fantastic news. Some unexpected news. Some news that I'm still giddy about, nervous about, excited about and scared about.

Can you guess what it is?

I'll bet you thought I was going to say that we're expecting. Well, we are! Just...not a baby.

We're expecting a BIG move to Boston, MA!
(For those not in the know, we're currently residents of Central Florida.)

Back in October, on a whim, Scott applied for a job with a company that makes one of his favorite games (he has worked in the video game industry for about 11 years), thinking he'd never actually hear back from them. Fast forward a month and a half and he's been granted an irresistible job offer.  He starts on Monday, and Angelica and I will be joining him later this month! I've had a few very exciting job interviews as well, so I'm not anticipating it will take me long to find a job up there as well. I'm very fortunate and grateful that in the meantime that my boss is allowing me to telecommute.

So, our holidays were filled with a bit of holiday joy, and a LOT of packing up stuff in boxes, cleaning, selling/donating items we no longer need, and making all sorts of other preparations for the transition.

I guess it's safe to say 2012 is going to bring a lot of change our way.

(Speaking of change, check out my 2012 project -- The VegMom Blog! I'll be blogging weekly recipes and weight loss updates there.)

On the move...

A little less than a year ago...10 months ago, to be more specific, we made the decision to pack up all of our belongings and take them on the oh-so-long trek across...........the hall. Yes, that was quite possibly THE easiest move I have ever made in my life, and what made it even better was that we did it on a weekday, so Angelica got to hang out at daycare and play with her friends while we (along with a couple of good friends) did the gruntwork of moving. We got an extra bedroom out of the deal, so that was really nice.

At the time we made that move, Angelica (who was 13 months old then) had only been walking for a few months, was still not capable of climbing on things and only had a vocabulary of about twenty words. Now, at almost 23 months, she can run, jump, climb, yell, tell me to go away, tell me that she loves me, tell me that she hates me, tell me who her best friends are, and is generally a ball of giggly energy that goes flying across the apartment so fast that we call her "the streak". (Especially on the frequent occasions that she does it after stripping!)

And quite frankly, it's not always easy to take her to the park to burn off all of her energy, but I can't just open the door here and let her go, since running in the parking lot isn't necessarily safe.

So began our hunt for the perfect house to rent, and lo and behold, we found one! With a fenced in back yard! And about $300 less per month than we pay now! Although the finding it came about two months too soon, it was a deal we couldn't pass up, and so we jumped on it. And in just about a week's time, we will again pack up all of our belongings, but this time we'll trek them about 10 miles down the road in trucks and cars.

And therein was a dilemma.

Making this move meant that the daycare she attends now...the daycare we love, with her best friends and awesome teachers and her cousins, is no longer on either of our routes to work. There is, however, one that I can see from the front yard of our new house (well, almost...Mapquest says it's 0.4 miles). So we mulled it over and found out the rates of the closer place (way cheaper, too), checked their inspections, and decided to make the move.

I don't know why this always makes me sad, but it does! Tonight I told her teachers that next week will be her last week there, and it was hard, especially since I know that Angelica has really bonded with them, and one teacher has a son who is a week older than Angelica, and they're best friends. (I ask her all the time who her best friend is, and she either picks one of her cousins or her teacher's son.) But I also remind myself that she's turning two in a few weeks, and won't be in the class with these teachers anymore. And she'll make new friends. And she'll still have her cousins.

These parenting decisions are tougher than any decisions I've ever had to make. I sure hope she doesn't wind up hating me for it when she's older!

Moving Day

Apologies for the brief hiatus...the entire Minute family just packed up and moved this week! I was without Internet for a few days, but now we're back up and online and in the 21st century once again.

Our move was really, really simple. In fact, anyone who has a toddler, I recommend doing it this way if possible! We were living in a two bedroom apartment, which was getting really cramped with two big people and one little person and all of HER stuff in it, so we upgraded to a three bedroom apartment, which was so conveniently located directly across the hall from us. 

Yes, literally. As in, every morning when I left for work, the first thing I saw was the front door of the place we live now.

The move itself went quite well. We sent Angelica off to daycare for the first two days, and enlisted the help of a friend to help us carry our stuff the ten feet over to the new place. (Thanks Gary!) This is our third day here, and already we are almost completely unpacked and settled in. The only thing missing is a new desk for me (my old one was about to fall apart, so I'm sitting on the sofa right now typing this out on my laptop) and bedroom furniture -- which is something that in my 11 years of being an adult I have never owned. The bedroom furniture will be here next week!

Angelica's adjustment to the new place has gone really well. We did a quick walk through the day before the move, and she was nervous, probably because it was just big, open and empty (as opposed to crowded and cramped, like she was used to in the old place). When she came home from daycare on the day we moved in, she seemed a little overwhelmed, but by tonight it was if she's lived here her whole 13 months of life.

And so, that is what has been going on which has kept me from writing anything for the past few days! Keep an eye out for more new blog posts coming shortly -- including new Tuesday Timesavers starting again next week!