This one is going to be titled, 7 things I'd do differently if we had a second child.
#1 - Warning, this may be flameworthy for some. I was gung-ho about breastfeeding this time around. Unfortunately, Angelica was never able to properly latch on, so I switched to almost exclusive pumping/bottle feeding. Every time I fed her formula, I'd cry and cry over what a failure I felt I was and how much better she deserved. Thinking back on it now, the pumping took so much valuable time away from her during the early weeks...she was eating about once every 90 minutes, so it a cycle of feed (20 minutes), pump (20 minutes), clean and sterilize pump parts (15 minutes), rest 20 minutes (notice that totals about 80 minutes). I kept this up for three months, but my supply didn't keep up with her demand and we wound up supplementing. The day I quit was the best day I'd had up until that point. If I had to do it all over again, I'd formula feed from the start.
#2 - I'd take a longer maternity leave. This time, we weren't prepared for the fact that my short-term disability stopped paying after 4 weeks (and that was with having a c/section!). I had 3 weeks of sick/vacation time banked, so all I got was 7 weeks...4 of which were at 60% pay. If we ever had a second child, I'd know better and have a lot more saved so that I could take the full 7 weeks to be home.
#3 - I'd take more video. I have three or four videos from Angelica's early days but as she grows and changes I wish I had more to look back on. I remember sitting with her in the early days thinking to myself, "Make sure you remember this" and just trying so hard to take it all in. In spite of this, I don't remember all that much. I guess that's part sleep deprivation and part nature.
#4 - I'd take better care of myself during pregnancy. The end of my pregnancy was HARD. I wasn't in good shape before getting pregnant, then things got out of hand with my blood pressure during pregnancy (which I still haven't recovered from), which put us both in jeopardy. If we were to ever have a second baby, I'd make sure to keep the weight gain in check and stay active.
#5 - I'd co-sleep. I so wish that I'd had one of those Arms Reach co-sleepers so that I could have her with me all the time. I was so opposed to co-sleeping before she was here, and now that she sleeps in her own bed every night, I miss her. We kept her in our room until about 3 months and then moved her to her own bed and it's sad.I can't just get up and peek at her, or bring her to bed when I get lonely for her anymore.
#6 - I'd read a lot less and listen a lot more. I tried so hard to expect things to be "by the book" and things to happen like they happened with my friends children and my nephew. Then colic hit. Then I realized that she is just a sensitive child. Then she started hitting milestones early but sleeping less (yes, we're still having sleep issues). Once I stopped "expecting" things to go one way and just start appreciating the events as they unfolded, I felt a lot better. Now I just use the book as a general reference...so I know when to really worry, like if she were to fall behind.
#7 - I'd worry less. I lost so much sleep for the first three months of her life in a frantic frenzy over SIDS...much the same way that I was frantic my entire first trimester over the possibility of miscarriage. The worries were unfounded. I did everything right. And she's still alive, and thriving.
Maybe I'll add more to this list later :)
1 comment:
I'm with you on the formula feeding. Now that I am not producing enough and pumping instead of nursing, it's miserable. It really isn't bad when you can nurse because it takes less time, less prep, and has less mess. A baby needs a happy mommy more than breastmilk IMO.
I would definately agree with a longer maternity leave because I love being home with the kids and hated it when I started school, and that was only 2 nights a week!
Can't really agree with the co-sleeping. It has a huge price in that she might end up not being able to nap or sleep on her own, so you end up with a 3 year old insisting on sleeping with you. But that's my feelings on it, and I do value instilling independance at a young age.
And I definately agree that not reading so much is wise. I prefer to just use intuition and ask people who have been there when I need advice (or do a little reading on the specific subject).
Don't know what's going on with her sleep though, I've only ever had a touch of that with my kids, but then again they have been way too good to me. I must be in for one hell of a ride at adolescence!!!!
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