June 12, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Real Life Deliveries Are Nothing Like A Baby Story

From my own personal experience - yours may be different, comment and share yours!

  1. Your whole pregnancy, labor, delivery and hospital discharge are not condensed into one neatly edited hour.

  2. Despite your best efforts, your labor and delivery will not go exactly like you planned and described in your birth plan.

  3. Makeup and jewelry? Who wears makeup and jewelry when they're in labor?

  4. Not all labor and delivery nurses are super nice. Some are actually quite snarky.

  5. Your well-intentioned husband/significant other will say/do something boneheaded.

  6. Forget modesty. Hospital gowns? No thank you!

  7. Doctors/nurses don't always explain what they're doing. Also: if you ask, they will look at you like you're a crazy lady for asking.

  8. You don't ask for an epidural and get it immediately. It may only take 20 minutes for the anesthesiologist to arrive, but it will feel like two hours years.

  9. If you have a c-section, your doctor won't be explaining each step of the procedure. (Mine was too busy discussing his seven year old's grades with his assistant.)

  10. Last, but certainly not least: After going home, nobody looks that good with a three day/week old baby.


Bonus: Word of caution to the wise, c-section mamas - they do put up that blue screen so you can't see what's going on, but if you don't want to see the gore, be sure the nurse standing next to you doesn't have glasses.

3 comments:

Twitted by minuteformom said...

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faemom said...

LOL I watched the delivery of my boys through the reflection of my doctor's glasses.
As for make-up and jewelry, I don't even remember brushing my teeth.

Robin said...

Maybe I was just lucky... but my labor/delivery/recovery was very much like "A Baby Story" lol I put makeup on and did my hair.. lol .. although they wouldn't let me wear my jewelry. I had incredible nurses and I had an easy recovery! :) I guess I am outside the "norm"