Needs

I mentioned in my New Years Resolution post that one of my resolutions is to find more joy in parenthood, and the past few days have embodied that resolution so well. That's not to say that there haven't been a few pitfalls. Life with a 2 1/2 year old is unpredictable. But for the most part, there has been great joy.

I've been trying to get more face-time in with Angelica, so after we get home from school we've been heading to her room and making quite a mess of it by dragging out all of her toys and playing until it's time to cook dinner. We build big towers with blocks. We trace shapes. We read books. We feed her baby doll. We play with Woody and Jessie (and I think I should be concerned, because lately, she's been making them kiss each other!) We do puzzles, and color, and play with stickers and stamps and it reminds me why I got into this whole parenthood thing to begin with.

Yesterday as I was leaving work I had an involuntary reaction to something that really told me how I define parenting at this point in time. I'm sure you all can relate to this. I was wrapping up work. Exhausted, in a brain fog and just really wanting to go home and collapse into bed. And I thought to myself, "When I get home, I could nap, but there's a little girl who needs me."

And then the involuntary thought:
"But not as much as I need her."

And I was surprised by that. But then I realized how true that really is. The moments spent with her re-energize me. (The moments that don't include tantrums, that is.) I need those moments of experiencing her innocence to remind me what really matters in life.